Mindset
The difference between disability and superpower
Turn your disadvantage into a secret
superpower with a growth mindset…
When dealing with mental illness it is easy to feel sorry for ourselves. What makes it worse is when we are told “it is all in your head.” It’s true enough that it is in your head, which is where mental illness generally derives.
Regardless of how others might react to our struggles, even if it is with derision or with patronizing comments, it is our choice how we perceive ourselves. For those with a victimhood complex, they will find slights and injustices around every corner because they have already labeled themselves for the role. But with a growth mindset, we can love our current selves while still striving to be our best with what we have regardless of obstacles.
MLB outfielder Pete Gray only played half a season in the big leagues. He would be lost to history if it wasn’t for the fact that he had only one arm. A reporter told him that with as good as he was with one arm he would be an all star if he had the benefit of two arms. Gray shocked the room by claiming that if he had two arms he would NOT be as good of a player as he had become. The reason is profound. If Gray had grown up with two arms he would have been just like any other kid in the neighborhood.
He would have had no incentive to apply himself any more than anyone else. But his disability propelled him towards a focus and relentless determination not common in youth. His disability required him to work harder than his peers to stay competitive despite such a disadvantage.
I have struggled with severe chronic depression since adolescence. When this was followed by bipolar disorder diagnosis and PTSD in early adulthood, self-pity seemingly became an acceptable outcome. After all, I had done nothing wrong to receive such conditions. Not surprisingly, this fixed mindset developed into fear and distrust, isolation and self-medication. I was a wreck. Dropping out of school, losing jobs.
None of it was “fair.” But when we are carving out a life for ourselves, “fair” doesn’t factor into the equation.
We have what we can act upon or with, and that which we cannot. Action on the first and acceptance of the second goes a long way towards a meaningful life. People with growth mindsets generally benefit from this understanding. Those with fixed mindsets do the opposite. A fixed mindset means there is nothing more to work on, learn, grow, etc., which essentially externalizes the problems in life, making the solution a problem for others to solve.
So those with fixed mindsets generally ignore opportunities available to them and obsess over opportunities out of reach.
Along the way with feeling sorry for myself I discovered the healing powers of writing. I needed a “filler” elective and took a creative writing class in college. There I discovered that my writing could go places others would not or could not go. I went deep into the darkest corners of my mind and put the traumas lurking there on paper. Writing saved my life. I found out that with the written or spoken word I had become an advocate and could render influence in ways that improved the lives of others.
After becoming director of Robbie’s House, a mental health clubhouse, I had the opportunity to look back on twenty years of struggle. Twenty years of taking significant physical and psychological beatings. I was thinking that my current situation in life was not bad at all “in spite of” all I had gone through previously. But a loved one pointed out that it wasn’t “in spite of” my traumas but because of them that I became the right person for the position.
Getting kicked around all accumulated into receiving such a meaningful role that gave me the opportunity to help others.
We can all learn a lot from Pete Gray. He was great because of his disability, not in spite of it, because he had a mindset based on growth. What benefit can you find from what the world calls your disability?
Source: “How one-armed Pete Gray became Browns outfielder,” retrosimba, April 17, 2020:
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Our writing comes from our clubhouse colleagues who formed a writing group in the winter of 2024. If you would like to support our charity, which helps those experiencing mental health challenges, please donate here:
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